She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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