Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
