You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You just made me feel so damn special
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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