I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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