p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
