Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Success! We fucked roommates!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
