1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm like, not good at living.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
