i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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