Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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