found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
