oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
