Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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