Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
