i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
