And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
