it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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