HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i will never coherently bang her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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