It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
