I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
