Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
