So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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