Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
