he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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