Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
