Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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