she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
