Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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