I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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