I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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