Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
