my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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