We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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