people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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