I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
