You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i've created a new STD.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
