I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
