I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
