My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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