Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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