Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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