I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize