I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
