If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
