I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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