Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
