I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
