I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
