I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
