Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
