That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
