You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
