Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
