i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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