a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You are a genius and a whore.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
