I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
