Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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