i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize