he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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