My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
