I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
