how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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