yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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