Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
