How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
