Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
