Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
