I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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