Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I want to fling myself into the sun
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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