I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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