We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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