FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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