Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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