why didn't you poke me back
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
