Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
home. puking in laundry basket.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
