life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he fucked my hip out of place.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
