where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
