I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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