so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
