Tell her she can't have a vagina
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
