that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
